Blue wasn’t the first horse to take me over a jump. But he was the first to dump me. Ironically, it happened on a day when someone told me, “You aren’t a rider until you’ve fallen off.” HA! Plastic poles showered down on me while he scooted off to my left. (That was his thing–running out to the left.) His big, white nose and the glaring grey sky extended above me. And Blue looked at me with a quizzical look. “What’cha doin’ down there?” Every time I fell, he never moved. He’d hang out until I got up and climbed back on.
How many times do you have to fail before you’re afraid of being wrong? If you’re like me, it only takes once. (A little secret: The thing is, with horses, when you’re worried about being wrong, they know. Horses climb in your brain and then your worry crawls all over and through their bodies.)
If I’d waited until I was ready to jump again, I never would’ve gotten back on.
While I was reading a Circle Maker devotion this morning, I couldn’t help but think of Blue. He was the first one to teach me that I can’t wait until I’m ready. I just have to get up and go. This morning, my devotion was, in a nutshell:
“If you’re waiting until you’re ready, you’re waiting until you’re dead.”
Translation, we’re never ready. For anything. Not ready to quit a job or take a new job. Not ready to get married. Not ready to go to college. Not ready to publish a book. And we can get so wrapped up in trying to make the right decision that the fear of making a wrong decision cripples us. Instead, we don’t do anything.
Getting back on after you’ve fallen off is scary.
I remember climbing back on Blue after he bailed on me. My hands shook. I wasn’t ready to ask this horse to jump again. But I did. I fell off again, and still got back on, and finally, we made it over together. I think I was 12-13 years old at the time. And if I’d chosen to let fear get the best of me, it’d have been ten times harder to get Blue to jump with me again.
As you can tell from all the pictures, I’m glad I kept getting back on.
In my experience, life decisions are like that, too. The longer we sit still, the more reluctant we are to get up. For example, the more comfortable we get in our job, the less likely we are to quit, even if we know it’ll push us to find something better where we’ll be happier.
Fear isn’t allowed to win anymore. That’s my declaration over you right now. However you got to this page. If you’re in a critical decision point and you’re sitting on the fence, squash fear. Get back up on your horse and try again. Don’t wait until you’re ready because you never will be. You just have to go for it! The only true “wrong” option here is to give up. Give yourself the freedom to try and try again. You’re ready to make that jump right now even if you don’t feel like it.
And then, one day, you’ll find your new dream job. You’ll publish your first book. You’ll get married. You’ll get the education you want.
You just have to jump.
If you missed the beginning of my story with Blue, click here.